Blog for Mental Health 2013

This is my pledge for Blog for Mental Health 2013 after being pledged alongside the other Canvas authors (I’m still so fucking proud to say that.  I mean *I’m a Canvas Author*, how awesome is that.  I should get a T-shirt that says “I’m a Canvas Author” and wear it all the time).

I will  pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.

I’m not sure I can write a short biography about my mental health.  To begin with, I believe the causes are multifaceted, some of it from a genetic level, because I was odd as a child even before I knew I existed, some because of the way I was brough up and some because of the way I’ve been treated by people in the past.  It’s a vicious circle, it’s changed my view of the world, but my view of the world was skewed to begin with.

I was seven or eight years old when my parents realised I was a bit “odd”. I had different fears and worries from “normal” children.  They were told I would grow out of it, so no help was given.  As I grew older it got worse. My teenage years were the worst as anxiety and depression built up inside of me, leading to an anxiety induced eating disorder and a subsequent psychosis.  I ended up in a psychiatric hospital before I’d even reached my 15th birthday.

In hospital my parts separated out and that’s when Charlotte and Jack were born. Well not born, born, one day they were just there in my brain and in my body.  I can’t remember if it was a gradual thing or if they just appeared.  Any how our relationship wasn’t great for a while, but we have been working on living together and sharing this body and I know I wouldn’t live without them.

I lived with the knowledge that my mental health was a bit strange for years, but I’ve only recently started talking about it in real life.  I started blogging just for an outlet for the feelings I was having that I couldn’t deal with.  I found out there was a community here and to my surprise, other people often experienced the same thing.  My writing started to grow into discussing sides of myself I was scared of admitting, sharing them and finding out that I could still be accepted despite my psychological flaws.

My online openness eventually made its way into my real life. I realised I have nothing to be afraid or ashamed of and I want other people to become aware of the stigma us mentalists still sometimes feel. I think my contribution to this is to talk to people about it, not ram the subject down their throats, but to be open about it when the subject does arise.  We should not feel stigmatised.

To date I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar II, Eating Disorder (not otherwise specified) and had various bouts of depression.

I am also a Canvas author, painter and nurse.

I’m supposed to pledge five others, but I wouldn’t want to miss out any one of the amazing mental health bloggers out there.  Please, if you are reading this, consider yourself pledged by me (us?) and help promote the awareness.

Love Sailor, Charlotte and Jack xox

About Hellosailor

Writer, painter, nurse. Borderline, Bipolar, awesome.
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5 Responses to Blog for Mental Health 2013

  1. Ruby Tuesday says:

    I thought TeamCanvas could have special t-shirts for the authors. . .

    In any case, thank you for sharing this and your story. I’m so happy that you have, and that you are a Canvas author. And my beautiful friend.


    • Hellosailor says:

      Just imagine, without or mental health, or lack there of, we probably would never have come into contact with each other.

      I would also like a Team Canvas hat. But then again, that’s just being greedy.

      Love xox

  2. Re: The stigma–Here’s an interesting story. I was playing “Family Feud” on my phone, and a top answer for “sort of doctor you wouldn’t want anyone to know you saw” was “psychiatrist.” So you see it’s still completely embedded in our pop culture. I got upset about that one. It reinforced my paranoia that I have to keep everything secret. 😦

    Well-done post.

    • Hellosailor says:

      That’s really bad! I was thinking about this some more today and I don’t think I’m embarassed about it any more. I think I’d be more embarrassed if I had to go and see a proctologist or gynaecologist. Those are far more embarrasing organs to look at than my brain xox

  3. indytony says:

    I just took the pledge myself and I’m now visiting my comrades blogging for mental health.

    I look forward to reading more of your posts. Perhaps we can encourage each other.

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