Tag Archives: friends

A Thousand Times Already

Fi’s birthday is coming up. Two years ago I went on a date with someone really special.  It got messed up because he couldn’t be honest.  Occasionally he pops into my brain and I miss what we had, even if … Continue reading

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Aftermath of the Aftermath

I’m good at being quiet, and I think that was always my problem. I know I’m Borderline, I know the sub-types have a code, but I can’t remember what mine is.  It’s the “Quiet” variety, I know that much, because … Continue reading

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Errors like straws upon the surface flow: Who would search for pearls must dive below

I’m sorry I suck so much at everything at the moment.  Yes, it matters. I miss every one of you, but I’m finding it difficult to juggle blogging and working and painting and being mental. In my head there is a … Continue reading

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What Brings Us Together; What Keeps Us Apart

Yesterday I wrote about my struggle with friendships in the real world, but there are people here that I feel safe with. Whether it is because each of you is far away, it somehow makes it easier.  I don’t know, the … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Fairweather

I struggle with friendships. Maybe it’s me, or the BPD or the all or nothing thinking or the fact that sometimes I don’t feel human or even that I fear abandonment. I just struggle.  Simple as that.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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Maggie – Sink or Swim

I know I’ve been away for way too long.  The only time of night I feel like writing at the moment is right before I go to bed, but I know what I’m like when I get on here, it … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Today

I’m not really sure why I’m finding it so difficult to write at the moment. I think it may be because I feel like I’m repeating myself. For example I feel like I write pages and pages about the fact … Continue reading

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Belonging

One of the last things C said to me was “stay in touch”. I didn’t.  It’s too hard, it’s always too hard. When I was in hospital friendships were made that I though were going to last forever.  I’d never … Continue reading

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How To Survive National Singles Awareness Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day aka “National Singles Awareness Day“. Bitter? Me? OK, maybe a little. This is the fourth Valentine’s Day I’ve been single. I don’t agree with the commercialism of Valentine’s Day, even if I was coupled up. I don’t get … Continue reading

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Dilemma and Extra Stuff

I always find myself troubling over dilemma after dilemma. Perhaps it’s not really I dilemma, it’s just the borderline, but that’s a whole different dilemma. Is the grass always greener? I don’t know, I guess it’s like asking is the … Continue reading

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