Tag Archives: humans

A Thousand Times Already

Fi’s birthday is coming up. Two years ago I went on a date with someone really special.  It got messed up because he couldn’t be honest.  Occasionally he pops into my brain and I miss what we had, even if … Continue reading

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In My Room

Let me take you to a place that I know.  It’s a place where I can just be, a blank canvas where my mind rests, where I can reach out to you in the only way I know how. There … Continue reading

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Aftermath of the Aftermath

I’m good at being quiet, and I think that was always my problem. I know I’m Borderline, I know the sub-types have a code, but I can’t remember what mine is.  It’s the “Quiet” variety, I know that much, because … Continue reading

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Shampoo

*Trigger warning* I am to write like there is no one listening.  Let the words spill onto the pages.  No mopping up of bad language or profanities or thoughts that will offend, because there are things that need to be said … Continue reading

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Errors like straws upon the surface flow: Who would search for pearls must dive below

I’m sorry I suck so much at everything at the moment.  Yes, it matters. I miss every one of you, but I’m finding it difficult to juggle blogging and working and painting and being mental. In my head there is a … Continue reading

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What Brings Us Together; What Keeps Us Apart

Yesterday I wrote about my struggle with friendships in the real world, but there are people here that I feel safe with. Whether it is because each of you is far away, it somehow makes it easier.  I don’t know, the … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Fairweather

I struggle with friendships. Maybe it’s me, or the BPD or the all or nothing thinking or the fact that sometimes I don’t feel human or even that I fear abandonment. I just struggle.  Simple as that.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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Pain

** Trigger warning** Being held under the dirty water. Naked. Touching.  Waiting for my reaction. Stoic.  Switch off. Dirty things floating, including me. Hair tangled, stuck to my face. Green paint. Laying on the floor. Blood. My baby taken away … Continue reading

Posted in Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Hopeless Romantic

I have odd fantasies. Wait, that sounds really bad. I day-dream a lot. When I day-dream I get carried away.  It might be a borderline thing, I’m sure I read that somewhere, borderlines are more likely to fantasize about things … Continue reading

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Maggie – Sink or Swim

I know I’ve been away for way too long.  The only time of night I feel like writing at the moment is right before I go to bed, but I know what I’m like when I get on here, it … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments