Tag Archives: the universe is in my throat

Aftermath of the Aftermath

I’m good at being quiet, and I think that was always my problem. I know I’m Borderline, I know the sub-types have a code, but I can’t remember what mine is.  It’s the “Quiet” variety, I know that much, because … Continue reading

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What Brings Us Together; What Keeps Us Apart

Yesterday I wrote about my struggle with friendships in the real world, but there are people here that I feel safe with. Whether it is because each of you is far away, it somehow makes it easier.  I don’t know, the … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Pain

** Trigger warning** Being held under the dirty water. Naked. Touching.  Waiting for my reaction. Stoic.  Switch off. Dirty things floating, including me. Hair tangled, stuck to my face. Green paint. Laying on the floor. Blood. My baby taken away … Continue reading

Posted in Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Psychos and Superheroes

I’m stepping a toe back into blog land.  It is possible I’m over the blog block, or I could possibly go back into hiding after this. Never mind, I only write when I need to.  There’s no point in forcing … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Alien

I hate that I am so easily triggered by things. Sure, I can be mindful, and live in the moment, but why does my brain find these connections in the most obscure things?  Quick flashes of memories are not as … Continue reading

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Belonging

One of the last things C said to me was “stay in touch”. I didn’t.  It’s too hard, it’s always too hard. When I was in hospital friendships were made that I though were going to last forever.  I’d never … Continue reading

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Walking the Line

Life is a fragile balance. We walk the line between sanity and insanity. Two different worlds.  Each so different. Sometimes I balance well, like a beautiful tightrope walker elegantly dressed in a red tutu and flowers in my hair.  I balance precariously.  … Continue reading

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All These Words

**Trigger warning** There are all these words that I can’t say.  All floating around in my head.  Sometimes I can just about make out snippets the rest of the time it’s just nonsense but because I don’t know the words I … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Circles

I am chronically suicidal. I don’t know where I got that phase from.  It dawned on me yesterday how long it has been that I haven’t wanted to be alive anymore. I remember arguing with my parents, when I was … Continue reading

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Dew

I am sure that I’m not designed for this world. I don’t feel well. Mentally.  Today was OK, but I just don’t feel right.  Thoughts niggling away. It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s all wrong and there’s nothing I can do to … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments