Tag Archives: what the fuck was I thinking

A Thousand Times Already

Fi’s birthday is coming up. Two years ago I went on a date with someone really special.  It got messed up because he couldn’t be honest.  Occasionally he pops into my brain and I miss what we had, even if … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Aftermath of the Aftermath

I’m good at being quiet, and I think that was always my problem. I know I’m Borderline, I know the sub-types have a code, but I can’t remember what mine is.  It’s the “Quiet” variety, I know that much, because … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Shampoo

*Trigger warning* I am to write like there is no one listening.  Let the words spill onto the pages.  No mopping up of bad language or profanities or thoughts that will offend, because there are things that need to be said … Continue reading

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Errors like straws upon the surface flow: Who would search for pearls must dive below

I’m sorry I suck so much at everything at the moment.  Yes, it matters. I miss every one of you, but I’m finding it difficult to juggle blogging and working and painting and being mental. In my head there is a … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

What Brings Us Together; What Keeps Us Apart

Yesterday I wrote about my struggle with friendships in the real world, but there are people here that I feel safe with. Whether it is because each of you is far away, it somehow makes it easier.  I don’t know, the … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Borderline, General Thoughts, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Pain

** Trigger warning** Being held under the dirty water. Naked. Touching.  Waiting for my reaction. Stoic.  Switch off. Dirty things floating, including me. Hair tangled, stuck to my face. Green paint. Laying on the floor. Blood. My baby taken away … Continue reading

Posted in Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

How To Survive National Singles Awareness Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day aka “National Singles Awareness Day“. Bitter? Me? OK, maybe a little. This is the fourth Valentine’s Day I’ve been single. I don’t agree with the commercialism of Valentine’s Day, even if I was coupled up. I don’t get … Continue reading

Posted in Borderline, Dating, General Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments